I treasure my coffee mug collection. It’s equal parts hand thrown pieces by yours truly (with the early pieces so heavy they’re able to do double duty as a door stop, overqualified paper weight or deadly weapon) and mugs that possess some quality that made my unable to pass by without purchasing—they’re just the right shape for my hands, so large you can eat a full meal out of them, the inside is glazed with the most perfect blue known to man…etc.

However, since my snarkiest friend Sarah showed me this little gem above—which I now covet with my whole heart—I’ve been thinking about mugs that say something. Something funny, yet just a little bit cruel. (All together now, “Just like you!” Feel better? Me too.)

Anyway, to that end, I present: Sarcastic Mug Monday! [WARNING: Don’t scroll down to the bottom of this post if you’re not a fan of curse words…Mom!]

Always a reliable source for paraphernalia covered in the phrases you think, but never say, The Onion store carries the mug above. Now, I don’t have my interns get me coffee, but I think I’ll get the mug and use it around the office nonetheless, just to remind them that I could.

Yeah, I know it’s a water bottle, but it’s so perfect I couldn’t pass it up. I need it!

If you like your cynicism hand-painted, In a Glaze is your mug mecca. I also thoroughly appreciate that this baby can hold a generous 24 ounces of caffeinated goodness!

In case you were wondering, this phrase can also be plastered on a beer stein. So when you drink too much to be clever, your beverage of choice can do it for you. Brilliant!

Last but certainly not least…the promised profanity. This little guy is hand thrown and made to order by Jennifer of JMN Pottery. Despite the excellent craftsmanship, you might want to confine this specimen to the privacy of your home.